Thursday, July 13, 2006

Another day in Connecticut, Land of my Forebears

Driving down a new little road yesterday I came upon a flower shop/greenhouse/nursery and I pulled in thinking it was the perfect place to buy flowers for my grandparents. I bought a little pot of red geraniums and continued on down the wooded road.

A deer emerged by the side of the road and very sensibly decided to turn around and slip back into the woods. deer sightings are always exciting for me still. Then onto the highway a couple of exits and back up to the little cemetery. I had reread my uncle's email and found that he had told me exactly where my grandparent's graves are. Up the hill and through the gates and right behind the first set of graves belonging to the Coffin family (very apt name for a cemetery I would say)...and there it was... my grandparent's headstone. SARGENT written in large capital letters at the top and then LAURA H. and ROY E. simply and elegantly beneath along with the dates... my grandfather passed away in 1976 and my grandmother in 1996. interesting the longing that I feelfor family connection and a sense of family identity . It felt good to be there and important and comforting. As though mbh's job change was all in order to bring me to this spot...

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I read the readings I had prepared. A little black squirrel ran across the pathway ahead of me. I have never seen a black squirrel before so it seemed like a special event and also sweetly approrpiate for a squirrel in a cemetery to be wearing black. it started to rain so I left but plan on returning another day.

I continued on up the highway to my next adventure...establishing membership and shopping at Costco. this is a whole new way of life...the car, the highway, the shopping centers and enormous warehouse shops, the golf course that surrounds our apartment complex. all manifestations of the structure of suburban american society. i feel somehow i need to be contemptuous and disdainful of it all, of the extravagance, excesses and the waste...but at this point contempt and disdain seem counterproductive, so i have just decided to enjoy it in a detached way as a kind of participant observer in a cultural experience. so i speed along the highway in my brand spanking new Mazda 3...zoom zoom zoom...

i scan the radio stations and for some reason the only station that seems to provide appropriate theme music is on the country music fits the cultural experience of "middle america" (somehow i feel this is middle america) and I drive into the shopping area past all the oversized stores the Home Depot, the Dicks sporting goods, the Petco and pull into the Costco parking lot. The hugeness of the warehouse is enveloping. The oversized efficiency of everything feels friendly though... i put a gigantic package of 10 huge chunks of pork loin into my shopping cart, about as many chicken breasts, and several pounds of tilapia fillet... a 10 lb bag of carrots (what am i thinking!), watermelons, jumbo container of little colorful peppers, grape tomatoes, a whole tray of plums, three cartons of milk, four packs of butter and premium mixed nuts galore (mbh will take care of all of those in short order, i think he could live on mixed nuts and orange juice alone) and a whole cartful of other stuff with longer shelf life... it is an experience of plentifulness...what do they do with all the leftovers? i want to know...what will we do?

we went jogging in the evening through the manicured landscape of the golf course dotted by a few outcrops of remaining natural growth that still allow for the presence of wildlife... mbh went chasing after rabbits, I managed to capture a tiny little frog in my hands for a few short seconds before it jumped free down to the pebbled walkway (i hope it didn't hurt itself on landing), ducks on the pond... a light mist... very nice.

mbh is happy here. he didn't like the city at all. i am very happy that he is happy. (i didn't take most of these pictures by the way but thanks to those unknowns who take pictures of the things i would have like to :) and hooray for google images)


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